


Ben Evans and The YouTuber

by squishyhobi



Category: The Lodge (UK TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 20:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14245566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squishyhobi/pseuds/squishyhobi
Summary: When Ben's struggling to battle mental illness, he stumbles across a YouTuber, Danielle Clarke. She explains her own battle, and Ben soon becomes a subscriber. She doesn't cure Ben's mental struggles, but he feel a little bit better watching each of her videos throughout the days. He never thought he'd actually meet her, but good things happen to people who deserve it.





	Ben Evans and The YouTuber

Ben didn’t like to think he lived the worst life, but he never felt like his life was that exciting, even if good things happened, he didn’t feel that happy – in fact, he felt miserable. He felt miserable 24/7, things just seemed to be going downhill in his life, even if everything was at a standstill. People would say ‘there are people worse off than you’, and Ben knew that, but he still cried himself to sleep most nights. He wondered how people would feel if he wasn’t around, some days he even stayed home from school and he’d see how it affected his friends – it sometimes helped him, his best friend Sean would often ask where he was, and after Sean knew what Ben was struggling with, his questions went from ‘where were you today’ to ‘are you okay? I hope you’re doing well, do you want me to come over after school? If not, that’s okay, I just want you know that my best friend is okay’. 

Even when years passed, Ben struggled. He moved in with Sean when they were 18, which meant his best friend would always be there at the end of the day. Some days, when Ben was feeling worse than usual, he’d stay in Sean’s room throughout the day and Sean would hold him once he came home from work. 

The worst night for Ben came when he was 19, Sean had been away for a few days visiting his parents, he had called Ben multiple times to make sure he was doing okay – but Sean didn’t think he’d have to call Ben on the one night when he was actually at his worst. He had a sudden overwhelming feeling that he wasn’t needed or wanted in the world.

It was worse than the feelings he had felt before. He wondered around his house, his breathing getting heavier as he thought what he could do. There was the option of ridding the world of him, then he wouldn’t be a problem anymore – but he didn’t want to put Sean through the pain of finding him. He had remembered how Sean would sometimes find YouTube videos in an attempt to entertain Ben and make him feel slightly better. Ben searched for videos that might help him, cat videos, dog videos, but he had already seen most of them and he’d click off of them soon enough. Thinking nothing would really come of it, he decided to search for ‘watch when feeling sad’, thinking perhaps some video would show up with comedy clips. 

That search was one of the best things that happened to Ben. 

The thumbnail was of a girl with long dark brown hair, she wasn’t posing for the thumbnail, and it wasn’t heavily edited either. The title of the video was ‘Please watch this if you feel sad’, a simple title. He wondered if the girl in the thumbnail was just a random clip in a compilation, but once the video started, he realised it was a video made by the girl.

“Hello everyone, boys, girls, non-binary friends, whoever you are, whoever you want to be, hello! I’m Danielle, and welcome to another video from me!” She spoke in a cheery tone and Ben leaned back on the sofa as he watched, he had fiddled with the cuff of his sleeve, biting it slightly as he watched the girl. She continued to speak in a similar cheery tone, “so this video is going to be far more serious than my others, it’s something I really want to discuss. Something I’ve been through, something I know that others are going through. I want to talk about depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Now I’m not saying that things I say will be a miracle cure for all mental illnesses, I just want to let you all know my own experience with these three matters. It’s an important topic to me, and I want you all to be okay, I want you all to be able to feel like you’re free from depression, from anxiety, and eating disorders. Now some stuff I say might be TMI or possibly triggering for some, so just keep that in mind whilst you watch this video, and please, please, I’m just trying my best to help.”

Ben continued watching the video, listening as the girl spoke about her experiences, how the tough relationship between her parents had affected her when she was young, and how she often felt like she needed to be a perfect princess type girl with her mother and among her friends. She spoke about how she had battled anorexia when she was 16, wanting to be like her friends, pretty and perfect – so she thought. She then spoke about how she overcame her difficult times, it wasn’t one of the usual preachy things Ben would read online, she was making it clear that it was difficult for her and it would be difficult for anyone going through it. Ben could tell that the point to her video was that it’s possibly to get through the hard times, no matter how bad it may seem. Just that thought alone brought a small smile to Ben’s face. 

“I hope you all understand,” the girl smiled to the camera, Ben could see the tear in her eyes, “I hope you’re all okay, and if you suffer depression, if you’re feeling suicidal, please call a hotline, ask for help. Please. Thank you all so much, I’ll see you all next time my loves!”

That night Ben had stayed up watching almost every video on Danielle’s channel, seeing how she was able to keep a happy smile throughout the videos, it seemed genuine. Ben wished he could be as happy as her. At some point, he started following Danielle on her Twitter and her Instagram. He tweeted her with a link to the first video he had seen of her and mentioned how he was most likely going to watch it again to remind himself he can get better. When Danielle liked the tweet and replied, Ben felt his heart flutter. 

_**DanielleClarkeYT** Stay strong sweetheart! Please make sure to reach out for help if you need it. I hope you’re able to get better soon  <3 xxx_

Ben would regularly watch Danielle’s video after that day, if he was ever feeling bad he’d watch the first video again. He’d often watch other videos as well, anything that made him feel better than he did. It wasn’t a secret to Sean that Ben had developed a small crush on the girl, and Sean didn’t want to tell him that it would never happen, he instead encouraged the idea that Ben would meet her one day. 

When Ben found out Danielle’s PO Box was in Northern Ireland, he just grew in excitement. He was in the same country as her, in fact he was certain that their towns were close to each other – he didn’t want to be the person that would purposely go there to find her, instead he wrote about it in a letter. He explained how he had felt since he was younger, how her videos were helping him since he discovered them. He also added a note hoping that she didn’t find it weird that he was a fan when he was a 19 year old boy. He wrote how she was like a saviour to him with her video and he was glad that he had found it that day. He made sure to write about how he was living with his best friend and he was helping him throughout each day. Finally he wrote how he wished to meet Danielle one day. 

_Dear Danielle,_   
_I’m not really used to writing letters, but I knew I had to write to you. You really have helped me, I only found out about your channel recently, but since then I’ve watched at least three of your videos each day. I’m currently 19, I’ve been struggling with my own mental health since I was 15, I had felt bad beforehand, but it really went downhill when I was 15. I was actually in my worst state on the night I found your video addressing depression. It really helped me. It really, really, did! I’m so glad you made that video, I’m so glad that I found it that night. Your regular videos also make me happy, it probably sounds weird but watching you have happy moments brings a little bit of joy to me. I hope you don’t think I’m some weirdo, being a male 19 year old fan… I know that most people would think I’m a creep but I just really love your content, and I’m so glad you make the videos you make._   
_I’m currently living with my best friend and he helps me through my hard days, so I’ve got help almost every day. He’s one of my coping methods I guess, him and your videos. I didn’t realise you lived in Ireland until I saw your PO Box! I actually live in a village not far from you, so that actually made me happy to know as well._   
_At the moment I’m writing this, you just tweeted something that really hit me. You said that some days you don’t feel beautiful, it really hurt seeing that you feel like that. This will come to you so much later but I just want to say. I personal think you’re a very beautiful person, I know that this doesn’t change your thoughts. The truth is, you don’t need to feel beautiful every day, I personally never feel beautiful or attractive. I used to have days where I felt good about my looks – it kind of stopped when a girl I liked told me I looked stupid and laughed in my face. I hope this has never happened to you… Just know that even if you don’t feel beautiful, someone out there will think that you’re gorgeous, beautiful, and perfect. I hope you find someone who can tell you that every morning and every night, you deserve that love._   
_I hope that one day I can meet you, just so I can express my thanks for you in person! I didn’t want to just send you a letter, I wanted to give you something you might like, so I’ve included a Stitch necklace because I know he’s your favourite Disney character! I hope you like it!_   
_Thank you so much!_   
_Ben (@ben__evans on Twitter)_

A few weeks later, Danielle did a PO Box video and Ben watch nervously, wondering if she’d read his letter. Halfway through the video there was a jumpcut and Danielle’s eyes were filled with tears, “I was going to read this letter, but I realised it was really personal for him so I read if off camera. I just wanted to say, Ben, thank you so much for everything you said! I’m so glad you’re here watching my videos and thank you so much for the necklace!” She held up the Stitch necklace for the camera, “I think I’m going to wear this a lot! I love it!” She let out a quick laugh and held up the folded letter, “this letter is so important, I’m so glad you sent it and I hope that I can meet you one day too!”

Ben excitedly jumped up from his bed and ran through to Sean’s room where his friend was sat up on his bed typing on his laptop, “she got my letter!” He called out happily, turning the phone screen to Sean, “she saw it, she said it was really important to her and, and,” He paused and sat down next to Sean, “she said that she’s going to wear the necklace!”

“Dude,” Sean grinned, wrapping an arm around Ben, “I’m so glad she got it!”

Ben smiled and pressed his lips together, “I think it made her cry… Oh! And she said she hopes to meet me one day!”

“You’re in,” Sean chuckled, “so you’re feeling good today?”

Ben nodded quickly, “yeah, I feel really good.”

“Good.”

Over the next few months Ben had continued being a fan of Danielle, watching her videos, liking her tweets and her Instagram posts. He watched all of the livestreams he could, being overjoyed when she read out his comment or answered his question. During her livestream, which Ben was watching, she was asked her favourite place to eat out, and her answer was quite surprising for Ben. 

“Oh! My most favourite place right now is called North Star! It’s quite local, not a big branch thing. I mean, you all know Skye,” Skye Hart, Danielle’s friend who was also a YouTuber, “her grandfather owns it, and let me tell you, they have the best vegetarian and vegan meals! I’m actually going there tomorrow, I can’t wait!”

“No way,” Sean commented from where he was sat, he was able to hear Danielle’s livestream since Ben was watching it on his laptop, “as if her favourite place to eat is where I work! I’ve never seen her in there.”

“You only started recently,” Ben looked up to Sean.

“You know,” Sean hummed, a grin growing on his face, “I have work tomorrow, morning through to afternoon… Perhaps you shouldn’t be alone tomorrow.”

“Sean…”

“If she’s going to North Star, you could finally meet her! Your dream girl,” Sean taunted, “besides, I worry about you when I’m at work. Having you around will make me feel much better.”

Sean didn’t need to make much more of an argument to get Ben on board with his little plan, knowing he might finally meet Danielle was an insane feeling, he just hoped she didn’t think he was a crazed stalker. 

Ben’s nerves didn’t cease the next day when he walked into the café with Sean, it was an early start for Sean, the breakfast and lunch shift. Ben had spent some days in the café, waiting for Sean, so Patrick understood why he’d be hanging around throughout the day. He stayed near the door through to the kitchen so Sean could often stop at his table to speak to him. Whenever the door opened, Ben looked up in hope. It was roughly the 25th time when two girls walked in, Danielle and Skye. 

“I’m going to go talk to grandad!” Skye called out loudly, she rushed past Ben into the kitchen where she knew she’d find Patrick. Danielle followed her part of the way, she stopped at the table next to Ben’s and sat down. Ben wanted to stand up, but he was finding it difficult. His breathing became somewhat erratic as he thought about how Danielle might react to him. His attention went to the door to the kitchen as Sean practically fell out of it.

“They’re here,” he whispered to Ben, he paused, noticing Ben was struggling, “hey, don’t worry. I bet Danielle will be delighted to meet you!”

“What if she thinks I’m a stalker?” Ben responded quickly and quietly.

“I’ll explain it,” Sean waved a hand and looked to the next table where Danielle was looking through a menu. He winked to Ben and slowly approached the table, “hi,” he smiled to her, she looked up with a matching smile, “so, this might not seem professional – but basically, my best friend is a very big fan, I found out you were coming here today since you said in your livestream, and so I thought maybe – since I work here - You’d be able to meet him? I mean, you don’t have to, but Ben is a big fan, your videos are one of the only reasons he smiles.”

“Ben?” Danielle asked in a recognising tone, “the same Ben that sent me this necklace?” She gestured to the Stitch necklace she was wearing.”

“The exact Ben!”

“Oh my God, yes! I’d love to meet him, he seems like such a sweetheart!”

Sean nodded over to the next table where Ben was nervously fiddling with the napkin he had received with his breakfast. Danielle looked over to the boy and quickly jumped out of her seat, she rushed over to his table.

“Hi Ben!” She smiled to him, Ben looked up with wide puppy dog eyes, a nervous smile beginning to show, “it’s actually you, huh?”

Ben nodded, barely able to speak, “D-Danielle.”

“Your friend said he wanted you to meet me,” she shrugged as Sean walked past her, back into the kitchen, “come here,” she held out her arms. Ben slowly stood so Danielle could hug him. Hugging Danielle felt right, he loved it, he smiled as they broke away from the hug.

“You don’t think it’s weird… That I’m here?”

“Absolutely not! I mean, I did say that I was coming here today – the fact your best friend works here… And my best friend’s grandad owns this place. It’s a small world. I’m so glad you’re here, I really am.”

Ben looked down at the table and nervously let out a small noise before clearing his throat and looking back up at her, “I can’t believe I’m really here meeting you,” he smiled.

Danielle then took a seat opposite Ben, smiling at him as she watched his expression change to a shocked look. He straightened up and smiled to the girl, Danielle leaned forward on the table and pointed to her necklace, “I’ve been wearing this pretty much every day since you sent it to me.”

“Yeah,” Ben smiled, “every time I see it in your videos, I get ridiculously excited. I’m glad you like it,” he looked down at his hands which he had folded in his lap.

“Danielle,” Skye came out of the kitchen with a small smile on her face, “one of the new workers said his best friend is a fan of yours, and I think-” she paused when she noticed Ben, “oh, hello!”

“This is Ben,” Danielle moved to the seat closer to Ben so that Skye could sit down, “probably my biggest fan.”

“Ben,” Skye repeated the boy’s name, her expression softened, “you sent that letter to Danielle, didn’t you? That was so brave of you, you know – Danielle wouldn’t stop crying about it after her video.”

“Really?” Ben looked to the brunette who nodded slowly. 

“It really hit me, and knowing that I helped you, it mans so much to me.”

Sean came out of the kitchen again, smiling at the trio sat around the table, “hi Ben, and Danielle and Skye,” he cocked his head to the side, “can I get you any drinks.”

“Water, please,” Danielle spoke in a continuous soft tone.

“Can I have some orange juice?” Skye asked, flashing a smile to Sean. 

“Of course you can,” Sean winked to the blonde who let out a quiet laugh before looking around to Danielle, Sean looked to Ben, “and let me guess, a hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream?” Ben quickly nodded and smiled to his friend, “only the best for my best friend.”

“Thank you,” Ben whispered.

Sean went to leave but Danielle suddenly spoke, “oh, wait! Can I have a hot chocolate too?”

“Yes, of course,” Sean smiled, he winked to Ben before going back into the kitchen. Danielle examined Ben, she leaned slightly closer to him.

“Are you okay with me and Skye sitting with you?” She cocked her head to the side, “unless you’d prefer to be alone.”

“I want you to stay,” Ben answered, giving a small nod, “this is just so… Surreal.”

Danielle and Skye eagerly talked to Ben whilst they had their lunch, it didn’t feel real for him but he went through it, once he had brought them their food, Sean stopped by their table to talk to them. He expressed to Danielle how Ben was overjoyed when she opened his letter. Ben had been glaring at Sean at this point but Sean didn’t really seem to feel threatened by him.

When they were finishing their food, Danielle reached out and grabbed Ben’s arm, shocking him, “I have an idea!”

“You do?” Ben blinked, looking at the girl curiously. Skye raised an eyebrow to Danielle, wondering what she was going to say next.

“I need to upload a video tonight, but I haven’t recorded anything yet, and I don’t know what to do. Well, I didn’t know what to do.” She paused to look over to Skye who was also patiently waiting for an answer, she cocked her head to the side as she looked back to Ben, “are you camera shy?”

“Uh… I don’t… I don’t think so. Why?

“How about, something I haven’t seen done before, ‘Number One Fan Does My Makeup’?”

“Number one fan,” Ben whispered, “I don’t think… I think that… I don’t know.”

“That would be a great video!” Skye grinned, “I bet people would love to see it,” she smiled over to Ben, “plus, you’d be spending more time with Danielle! You can’t exactly say no to that.”

Ben began to nod, smiling brightly as he looked at Danielle, “I’d love to…”

Danielle had explained to Sean that Ben would be coming to her house to film a video, she gave him her address – making sure he wouldn’t leak the information. Sean obviously agreed, wanting what was best for Ben, he did a quick ‘don’t hurt my best friend’ speech before smiling and winking to her, “be kind to him,” he had spoken quickly before heading back to work.   
Danielle and Skye gladly talked with Ben as they got a taxi back to their house which was just outside of the village where the North Star café was. Ben could barely take his eyes off Danielle as she spoke excitedly about the video she and Ben would film. Ben felt hypnotised looking at Danielle, she was absolutely gorgeous, somehow even more attractive in person than on video. When Danielle placed her hand on Ben’s knee, he felt his stomach flip, how were they being this close? He was only a fan of Danielle’s, he didn’t deserve to be close enough to her that she saw him as a friend. It wasn’t a long journey to Danielle and Skye’s house, it was a small building and Ben was happy to follow the two girls inside. Skye pointed around the house, giving Ben a brief tour as they made their way into the living room. 

Danielle smiled to the boy and welcomed him to sit down as she herself took a seat, “I don’t want to throw you straight into filming the video, so… Why don’t we just talk for a little while?”

“I’d like that.”

Ben spoke about his past, touching on his own battle with depression, and Danielle understood where he was coming from. She made comparisons to her own experience, and she noticed when a small smile appeared on Ben’s face. Ben briefly touched on the topic of a love life, he simply said that he was certain he wouldn’t find love as ‘who would want to love a mess like me?’. Danielle had softened up again at that point, he was truly fragile and she wanted to help him. 

They filmed the video soon enough, after Danielle had given Ben a long encouraging speech, she hoped he’d be able to find all the help he needed. She quickly led him through to the room where she recorded her videos, she quickly pointed out where everything was and then she quickly brought over her makeup bag.

“Let’s get recording!”

Danielle began recording, introducing the video with a bright smile whilst Ben was out of camera shot, “Hello everyone, boys, girls, non-binary friends, whoever you are, whoever you want to be, hello! I’m Danielle, and welcome to another video from me! Today I’d got a very special video, as you can probably tell by the title, I have a guest with me today! Because in today’s video, I’m getting my make up done by Ben, one of my fans,” she welcomed Ben into the camera shot and smiled to him as he awkwardly waved to the camera, “I’m ridiculously excited about this, aren’t you, Ben?”

“Y-yeah,” Ben nodded, letting out a small laugh, “I’m so happy.”

The video was fun for both of them, Ben did what he could, sometimes pulling out facts that Danielle was proud to see him remember. They both found the video fun to shoot, and Ben was able to keep a smile up throughout most of it, there were moments where his smile dropped and he wondered why he was even there with Danielle, but they managed to finish the video, and Danielle wasn’t too disappointed with the finished look. She told Ben that he had done an amazing job, and for the end of the video she gave him a tight hug and kissed him on the cheek as a thank you, leaving a very faint lipstick mark on his cheek. His cheeks went an equal shade of pink so the lipstick mark was disguised slightly for the end of the video. They both said goodbye and Danielle finished the recording, she turned to Ben with a bright smile.

“Thank you so much, Ben,” she wrapped her arms around him again, “you’ll have this memory forever now, I hope it helps you in some way,” she pulled back, holding onto his shoulders, “I want to help you out if you’re ever in need. You’re so sweet, adorable, lovely,” she let out a quick chuckle and ran a hand through Ben’s hair playfully, “I want you to pull through this, I want you to be okay. I want you to live.”

Ben could feel tears in his eyes as he looked at the girl, “thank you so much Danielle.”

“Call me Dani,” she laughed quietly, pulling Ben in for a hug again.

Ben stayed with Danielle and Skye for just under an hour, only leaving when Sean showed up at the house, having finished work. He had made a joke about it being like he was picking his son up, and Skye seemed to think Sean’s humour was the best thing she had seen in quite a while. 

Ben wouldn’t stop talking about Danielle for days after meeting her, he had a smile on his face more often as he thought of the girl. He even managed to get Sean to sit with him so they could watch the video together. They both enjoyed watching it, Sean teased Ben, pointing out moments where Danielle seemed to be in love with him. Ben wished that was the case. 

It was only a day or two after the video was uploaded when Ben fell back into his bad spiral, unable to get out of bed throughout the day. He chose to message Danielle. Sean was at work and Ben wanted someone to know how he was feeling, and Danielle had followed him on Twitter so he was able to direct message her. He made it brief, letting her know he felt unable to get out of bed on that day. Danielle opened the message and began replying almost immediately.

_Oh no! Those days are the absolute worst, I’m at North Star right now, are you okay if I come to your place? I can get the address from Sean!_

Ben accepted Danielle’s offer, and he shuffled in the bed as he waited for a response again.

_I’ll be there ASAP!!! <3 xx_

Ben wondered why Danielle cared about him, it wasn’t like he deserved her attention. He had actually fallen asleep whilst he waited, only waking up when he heard a soft ‘Ben’, he opened his eyes to see Danielle crouched next to his bed.

“Hi,” she smiled to him, “Sean gave me his keys.”

“Oh, cool,” Ben shuffled, making space on the bed for Danielle to sit, “you’re really here.”

“I care about you.”

“Why?”

“I…” She paused as she sat down on the bed, she glanced down to Ben, “I like you,” she shrugged, “I think you’re really sweet.”

Ben could feel a small smile start to grow as he buried his head into his pillow, “it’s so strange to me, that you’re here. You’re… You, a famous YouTuber. In my room.”

“I’m barely famous,” Danielle whispered.

“You have a fanbase,” Ben mumbled, he fidgeted again and closed his eyes, “a bunch of fans… Some fans who don’t like me.”

“What?” Danielle cocked her head, “what are you on about?”

“There’s a video someone made called ‘Danielle boring her fan for 2 minutes straight’, and it’s actually kind of funny to watch,” a small smile showed on his face again, “but some people I the comments said I was rude, and horrible, and just pretending to be your fan so I could be noticed. It really hurt to see that people thought I didn’t like you.”

Danielle moved so she was laying down next to Ben, she pulled out her phone and watched the video. Ben was able to look at the screen, laughing quietly along with the video, “in my defence, the moments they think I’m being bored, I was actually questioning my existence.”

Danielle looked to Ben and gave a supportive smile, “I understand.”

Ben looked into Danielle’s eyes, having a moment where he felt like maybe she thought the same that he thought. He didn’t want to make a move at all, however, he didn’t want to overstep. Instead he offered a small smile. Danielle placed a hand on Ben’s chest after putting her phone in her pocket, she shuffled, cuddling up against him, “let’s nap, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ben whispered. Danielle rested her head against Ben’s shoulder – Ben was astounded, he really didn’t deserve Danielle’s attention like this, did he? Falling asleep like this was easy, he enjoyed having Danielle with him, it felt so much warmer than his usual nights in bed. Danielle’s breathing was steady against his skin and he realised he wanted her to stay there with him for weeks, months, years. He liked Danielle, part of him even felt that those feelings were more on the half of ‘love’ than ‘like’. He was certain that Danielle would never feel the same way, he was only a fan to her.

Ben wasn’t aware that Danielle liked him just as much as he liked her. She’d tell him eventually, she had to. She wanted something to become of the two of them, she didn’t want to be alone anymore, she wanted to be with Ben. She knew she wouldn’t be able to bring him happiness instantly, but she wanted to help show him that he could be loved and that she was willing to love him. She thought he was attractive, sweet, and he deserved to be loved.

They were both fast asleep when Sean came home, he had taken his spare key so access was easy. He went to check on Ben, unsure if Danielle would still be there – and he found that she was, in fact, still with Ben. He found them in Ben’s bed, comfortably cuddled up. It put a smile on his face, “he hadn’t actually seen Ben cuddle anyone other than himself, and at this point he looked peaceful in Danielle’s arms. It was what he deserved. Sean quickly left the room, leaving the pair in their peace. 

They had woken up later in the evening, Danielle first. She gently nudged Ben awake, smiling as his eyes opened, “I think we should have some dinner, hm?”

Ben shrugged, “I’m not really hungry.”

“We’re going to have some Dinner,” Danielle quickly tied up her hair with a hairband that was wrapped around her wrist, “you need to eat.”

Ben eventually agreed, and Danielle jumped up from the bed, “shall I order something in? How about pizza?”

“If we order food in, does that mean you’ll be staying close to me for longer?”

Danielle giggled, kneeling on the bed and leaning over Ben, “I’ll stay here until you get bored of me.”

“So, you’re never leaving then,” Ben joked, grinning up at Danielle.

Danielle laughed again, looking down at Ben. To anyone else, it would look as though the pair had known each other for years. Some would most likely assume they were romantically involved. Ben knew that he and Danielle weren’t together though, not yet. However, when Danielle began to lean down, Ben could feel his heart start to race. Her lips met his and Ben’s hands instantly moved to Danielle’s waist. He made sure his grip was gentle, and Danielle’s hands cupped his face, so she clearly wasn’t unhappy with where he held his hands.

Ben hadn’t exactly been kissed before, and now he was kissing the girl who he was a fan of. His hands were on Danielle Clarke’s waist. His lips were against Danielle Clarke’s lips. His first kiss was with Danielle Clarke. 

Danielle slowly pulled away, her smile still showing as she looked into Ben’s eyes, “finally,” she whispered, she pressed her forehead against Ben’s, “I’m sorry… I’ve wanted to kiss you for a little while now.”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you too,” Ben whispered.

They shared a quick, chaste kiss before Danielle pulled out her phone, “I’ll order that pizza, shall I see if Sean wants any?”

Ben hummed and nodded, smiling slightly as he watched Danielle jump off of the bed and run out of the room.

From there, Ben and Danielle let their relationship evolve. Danielle had opened up about their relationship not that long into it, letting her fans know she was no longer single. She wanted them all to know she was happy, she also mentioned the ‘Danielle boring her fan’ video, letting people know that she and Ben both found the video funny, but they should all be aware that Ben suffers depression just as Danielle had. She had, of course, checked with Ben prior to making the video, and he agreed. She did her best to make sure that her fans wouldn’t send any abuse or hate to Ben, she knew what people on the internet were like nowadays. 

It wasn’t like they were together and Ben’s depression was suddenly gone, because it wasn’t. It was still difficult for him, just as it was before. He’d still spend many days staying in bed, not wanting to leave the bed sheets all day. The difference now was that some days, Danielle would stay in bed with him. She still suffered, but not as bad as Ben did. She moulded herself around Ben, making sure she could take care of him and herself. They were happy. Sometimes Ben would be affected by an odd comment from Danielle’s fans telling him that he doesn’t deserve Danielle – he changed his Twitter profile to private, struggling with the fan accounts that would spam him with hate. 

With Danielle, though, he was able to say that he felt happy. It was really all he ever wanted. He had what he wanted, what he needed. Even if Ben’s happiness was enough, along the line he found out that Sean and Skye had also started dating, so now he and his best friend had a shot in a happy relationship. They both deserved it. Actually, they all deserved it.


End file.
